Problems I have With This Joke

The Joke: "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife walking their dog with no legs.

• The deaf woman knows her husband is blind. She knows what he means.
• Either the blind man learned ASL (difficult, but not impossible) or his deaf wife was lip reading.
• Their dog probably has some mobility device to compensate for the lack of legs.
• Omitting any mention of disability makes this an ordinary scene.
• Can't a man and his wife walk their dog?

A Let it Go Rock Climbing Parody (Grip the Holds)

Grip the Holds ( a Let it Go Climbing Parody)

The crag looms gray

On the mountain today,

Not a tick mark to be seen.

A kingdom without a quickdraw

And I think that I’m the queen.

The foot chips crumble

Like the little strength inside.

Should use it somewhere else,

But everything I’ve tried.

Don’t let them in.

Don’t let them see.

Keep your hands down.

Don't even place your feet.

Deny your strength.

It shall not show,

But here it shows!

Grip the holds, Grip the holds,

Can’t stand to stand anymore!

Grip the holds, Grip the holds

Climb away and slam the door!

I don’t care what the onlookers think.

Let my hands ache on.

The heights never bothered me anyway.

It’s funny how perspective

Makes the world large or small

And the fear that once oppressed me,

Well, it motivates me now!

It’s time to see what I can send,

To let the pain and insults end.

No stick, no ball, no goal for me.

I’m free!

Grip the holds, Grip the holds,

I am one with the chalk and stone.

Grip the holds, Grip the holds.

Here I thrive, alone!

Here I climb,

‘Cause here’s my time.

Let my hands ache on.

The chalk dust coats my hands and settles on the ground.

Its particles are drifting through the air and all around.

And through the crux I move with grace just like a song.

Climbing made me lean and strong.

Why judge that right or wrong?

Grip the holds, Grip the holds.

I’ll ascend like the break of dawn.

Grip the holds, Grip the holds.

That complacent girl is gone.

Here I climb

In the heat of day.

Let my hands ache on!

The heights never bothered me anyway.

• You can sing this. Just credit me for the lyrics!

• Notify me if you make a song video.

• If you want to make any changes in the lyrics, send it to me so I can approve it.

• Use my E-mail address (flutistpride@gmail.com) or my Google+ profile, +FlutistPride to reach me.

• Steph Davis is the climber in the photo.

  

Stereotypes that Apply to me, But Don't

God calls us to make disciples of ALL nations.



Because intelligence is not measured by the way you learn, but my what you learn and how you apply it 

They are actually large.

I don't think it's possible to be perfect in any area.

I own one pair of chopsticks and only use it for ramen.



Again, free will. Just believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior.

 


I was born with gorgeously bronze skin.



I play the flute.



God gave us free will and I chose to be religious.



Christianity is medicine for sin, not a trophy for saints.



I don't even like sushi.



We just express our emotions in different ways.



I judge by character, not wealth.



Ever heard of free verse poetry?

Rock climbing and intelligence make me feel tall.



I am against stealing and therefore avoid it.



Christians are fun, but sometimes we don't understand why you find certain things fun.



I don't remember the last time I went to McDonald's.

Dude, like, what is  up with this stereotype?

I believe your auditory processing is a little off.... Don't worry; mine is too.

Sometimes, but not all the time



Get it right people. The first A is A as in apple and cat.



I'm confused. What does one's race have to do with family relations?



Not really, but we're all a little self-centered.



 I eat noodles and bread when I don't eat rice.



How To Make Mistakes

Have you ever made a mistake? I'm sure you have. We all have, even someone who seems perfect. Here's how to properly make mistakes.

1. Admit that you made a mistake. Scapegoating, diversions, and lies only work in the short run. Everyone gets caught eventually, so turn yourself in before it happens.

2. Know how you made your mistake. Did you say or do something incorrectly? Was it adding too much or too little? Was it forgetting to read the directions? Whatever it was, go back and remind yourself where it was made.

3. Never dwell on mistakes. Making them is part of being human and you will make many more in the future.

4. Learn from your mistakes. Learn what you did incorrectly to avoid doing it again.

5. Move on and remember that every human makes mistakes and has made them.