Blogger Widgets Ender-Chan's Thoughts: May 2015

Friday, May 29, 2015

Go the Distance Academic Rewrite

Original Lyrics: Alan Menken 
I have made the grade.

They just see the A.
And everything else,
It just gets pushed away.

I know I am smart.
I can play that part,
But a voice inside me
Says it's all I'll ever be.

In some other way,
I can go the distance.
If they see someday
That I'm also strong.
But is every mile
Even worth the while?
If I search most everywhere
To find I can't belong?

Down a numbered road
To an unknown fate.
And that road can't wander,
Though I'm destined to fall
And a letter grade
Can't obscure my face.
And in a long lifetime,
It won't matter after all.

I'll pursue my fate.
I can go the distance.
I will risk it all.
I will sound alarms.
It's a winding path
But the aftermath
Is an unearned welcome
And it's waiting in God's arms.

But to look beyond the numbers is the hardest part
For success and strength are measured by the heart.

Like a shooting star, I will go the distance.
I will face their hate.
I will face their harms.
In an uphill slope,
I will not lose hope
Knowing God is waiting
With welcome, open arms.

Feeling Forgotten and Requesting Prayer

Lately, my self-esteem has been tanking. The world seemed to forget that I exist in the smallest ways that a neurotypical would usually glance over. I find that I'm hypersensitive to social cues, yet people seem to act like I am oblivious to them.

Yesterday, in band, an oboist set her case on my chair. She moved it, but I still read this as an indicator of her forgetting about me. During the band competition, whoever set up the chairs forgot mine. In algebra, someone left a book on my chair. I moved it, still thinking about how the world seemed to forget me. I know that these isolated incidents are not a cause for worry, but these seem to have a pattern. It could just be my "writer personality" in that I take little things as foreshadowing for future life events or symbolism of something else that affects me. Should I go the Hosea route and change my name to "Not my people" or just go about my life as if I don't notice any of this?

I noticed that people want to shove me around like a pawn. They just say "Excuse me" and walk by like I'm invisible. I would like for them to stop and consider me.  I admit to doing this and, if you have ever been hurt by something I have said or done, I apologize and ask you to forgive me. I feel like an inconvenience to my friends, family, and God. It sounds selfish of me to ask for prayer, but I think it is one of the most selfless things I have done (which is kind of sad :).)

Thursday, May 28, 2015

"One Size Fits All" and School Systems

Have you ever tried one size fits all clothing and it didn't fit correctly? The same goes for learning styles, systems, and differences. School systems are designed like one size clothing, tailored to a range of sizes, but obviously not all the sizes. Watch the video above to see women with various body types try on one size fits all clothing.

I stumbled across some bodyshaming comments on YouTube regarding this video. Some said that we shouldn't consider plus-sized people beautiful because they are unhealthy (Some genrealized statement!), that they should eat less and go to a gym, and said other hurtful, stigmatizing things. In the same way, an uninformed teacher would accuse different learners of being lazy, unmotivated or say that they just need to try harder.

Meredith at Disability Diaries blogs about her experiences with autism, intellectual disability, and severe learning disabilities. Among her interests are fantasy games, historical fiction, and fantasy (Tolkien being her favorite). She blogged about one of her friends, Tony, testing out of LC. (Read about it here.) Meredith admitted to feeling somewhat envious as she will remain in the program for the duration of her academic career. My concern is that Tony, despite having "proved himself" by testing out of LC, will suffer because he needs the support LC provides. I am an A and B student in honors classes (and planning to take AP classes in the near future), but I need support for anxiety and executive functioning deficits. There appears to be quite the stigma against LC students at Meredith's school, so I'm wondering if Tony planned to leave due to the stigma surrounding LC.

Before you stereotype students in such programs, think about what they can do. Someone who can't control their movements and seems to have no awareness of their surroundings might have a heart of gold and unconditional love for everyone. If you turn away these people, you turn away Christ.

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