Autistic/ADHD ENTP (#16Disabilities)

I am an autistic ENTP. Since being an ENTP is a fairly new identity to me, I cannot delve into it as deeply as I would like to. ENTPs are, as a rule, dynamic and adaptable. ENTPs enjoy diving headfirst into new ideas and experiences. They are curious and a witty sense of humor. This MBTI opposes the stereotypical image of "autistic person," which is why I appear to be very "high-functioning" to most people (or maybe I'm a low-functioning ENTP).

I never really feel flustered or upset during breaks in the routine. In fact, I welcome reprieve from the routine. I intuited some aspects of social skills using my thinking function. I did things because no one said I couldn't do them. I pushed boundaries, experimented, gained awareness of the world through ideas, and took on seemingly insurmountable challenges. I had it easier than most, but no life is ever without its downfalls.

I didn't know I was an ENTP until recently. I mistyped as INTJ due to my pretending to be an introvert. Part of that I attribute to being in an introverted family and another part is fear of failure in general. I would rather have the entire world collapse around me than fail to meet a goal I have set for myself. For me, being an extrovert, rejection is failure. I feel rejection is a symphony of pain. The acute stabbing pangs of initial, direct rejections and dull, lingering aches from repeated or perceived rejections leave me erecting defensive walls as armor. 

Most things I do I do out of spite or sheer curiosity. I have rapidly shifting passions and find it difficult to commit to one thing. In order to decide that I wanted to play flute, I tried every other instrument available (clarinet, trumpet, euphonium, and saxophone) before deciding on the flute. It is not uncommon for me to stick with something I did on an impulse. I joined band entirely on a whim and it's an impulse I'm glad I followed. I also started blogging on an impulse, sometimes shifting my niche with no apparent reason other than that I need spontaneity. "P" types tend to be spontaneous in their doings.

I tend to move and fidget when I sit and take notes, but not very conspicuously. I'll jiggle my leg, twirl a pencil, and doodle random things. When I read, I listen to music when I do it because it helps me focus. Others would think it a distraction, but it helps me. I need immersive environments in order to be productive while others would find such a thing overwhelming. In order to swim, I need a "sea of stimulation," as I would call it, whereas others who are content with stimulation pools would feel like they are drowning. I like diving right into new ideas and experiences, but it takes me a few deep breaths to work up the courage to jump into the water.

Image Description:

1.  A horizontal bar graph titled "Your personality type is the debater (ENTP-A). Next to the graph is a fair-skinned, dark-haired man drawn in a geometric style smirking and saying "May I point out a couple mistakes in your argument?" At the bottom is a cyan button that says "Send results by E-mail."
1. Green bar=21% Extraverted 
2. Blue bar=56% Intuitive
3. Red bar=30% Thinking
4. Yellow bar=18% Prospecting 
5. Purple Bar=9% Assertive