I'm an Actress

I dabble in a little theater. I do drama camps here and there when time permits. I'm not considering acting as a career, at least not directly anyway. Few things are as rewarding as delivering a line, thrilling as putting on a costume for the stage, or grueling as running choreography (Jazz squares, anyone?). I would love to be in a school play, but time does not permit me to do so and I am nowhere near as talented as the others.

Being autistic is like having a lead role in a musical you know nothing about and never auditioned for in the first place. You usually learn how to act first. You gain the context of your performance and  learn how to look like you belong on the stage.  Whether you sing or dance first depends on who you are. I myself have awkward feet, but I love to sing. (I'm still self-conscious about my voice.) You may not be able to match a single pitch, but can step kick kick leap kick touch like a boss. You may catch onto both easily or not at all. However, ultimately, it's your stage. It's your choice to either fade into the background or step into the spotlight.

I have always loved performing of any kind, playing the parts people wanted me to play. When I didn't have a role to play, I felt lonely and unneeded. Want a flutist? I can do that. First or second? Want a student? I'll study my hardest. Want a blogger? I'll go pitter-pat on the keys until I crank out something readable. However, performance has an ugly side that I am all too aware of. As glamorous as it is, the glamour gets old quickly and I get so used to the sensation of sweating under stage lights that I can barely feel myself without their heat.

The drama teachers who run my latest camp (Take the Stage LV summer camp) recently complimented my acting skills, calling me talented at acting. I wish that were the case. I just have a lot of experience, not really onstage, but offstage, and at practically every moment. Acting is really all I have. I find what I want to be and be that until someone needs me to be something else. Some days, I have felt more like a disposable prop than a human. Don't get me wrong; I still love performing. It's just difficult to find respite.

I am an actress. Am I a flutist, writer, arranger, composer, etc.? Yes, but those are all just roles I enjoy playing. Acting is a great thing, but ask yourself: Is it for me? It gets tiring, frustrating, and lonely beyond what most non-actors can imagine. However, nailing an enjoyable role (or making a less-than-fun one awesome) is among the most fulfilling things in life. "Myself" is a role I have yet to learn how to play as the script is still being written.

Why Was Passing for Normal Important?

"I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail."--Abraham Maslow

Lovaas's ABA ran under the logic that an external change in behavior imparted an internal change, which, in theory, could make the recipient less (reason they're going through it in the first place). This method became popular in treating autistic children in order to make them less autistic. Of course we all know that normality-oriented therapy is time-consuming,  expensive, exhausting, harmful, ineffective, and backed the toxic idea that you need to look and act a certain way in order to be worthy of your inalienable rights (life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness). Now those rights aren't so inalienable, are they?

My question is why normality was so important in the past. Is it because not much was known about autism and like disorders or because conformity is so deeply seated in the world's traditions that some people think it is the only way to deal with things? Why was it that appearing normal trumped the recipient's health? I have been to the blogs of several others who have gone through similar therapies to Lovaas ABA. Many of them cited depression, anxiety, and PTSD as a result of conformity therapy. Were these consequences not forseeable by practicioners and parents? Or were they so daunted by the idea of helping people love themselves and function to the fullest extent possible that they just decided to take the easy route with conformity therapy?

Since there is a Lovaas center close to me, I decided to go on their website and read Bryce's case. Bryce was disinterested in structured play and toys. What mystified me was why his parents didn't bother to find reasons for these things other than "Oh, he's autistic and needs to be fixed.". Structured play could have caused Bryce anxiety or another form of distress. The website cited that Bryce's "tantrums" were an issue throughout the therapy. Bryce was protesting in the way he knew how. Would you protest in the way you knew how if you were forced to be someone you're not? I definitely would. However, that's not what disturbs me the most.

The aftermath of the therapy is meant to be happy, but I interpreted it otherwise. On the website it says "he laughs at the little boy tantrumming on the screen when shown old footage of his first few days in treatment." What I got from that statement is that Bryce acquired trained arrogance due to being "cured" of his autism. I worry how Bryce will treat other people in the future, if he will grow into the same vapid, ignorant "adult" I hate. I worry that he will come to look down on others who do need an aide or who cannot/will not maintain a neurotypical image. The juxtaposition of the four year old melting down in a video and the second grader laughing at him makes for a troubling contrast.

My speculation is: What if that boy was not a projected image, but a living, breathing human being?  Would he have stood up for the child or laughed as he laughed at himself? I feel more troubled and reviled at where he is now rather than hopeful. How does a story like this induce feelings of hope in some, concern in few, and revulsion in others with little else in between? Life holds many questions and very few answers. I have no answer as to why conformity therapy even came into fruition or continues to exist, but its results leave me disgusted and confused rather than comforted and hopeful.

What do you think? Do you have other questions about conformity therapy? Do you agree or disagree with my points? Have I brought any new things to consider? 

Song: A Realistic Logical Ideologist
Artist:ゴボウメン (English Dub by JubyPhonic)
Language: English dubbed from Japanese

Song: Classroom Bystander
Artist: Kagamine Len
Language: Japanese

This is NOT Temperament!

(This is a full-on diatribe directed at a certain someone who has officially infuriated me. In this post, I abandon my usual composure and rant about a certain popular Asperger's blogger's "temperament system." You have been warned.)

I'm linking to the original using a rel=nofollow attribute because this information is blatantly erroneous and potentially harmful. (Date of Access: February 21, 2016) Quoted text from the article is in blue.

There are nine different types of temperaments in Aspergers kids:

• Distractible temperament predisposes the youngster to pay more attention to his or her surroundings than to the teacher.
• High intensity level temperament moves the youngster to yell, scream, or hit hard when feeling threatened.
• Hyperactive temperament predisposes the youngster to respond with fine- or gross-motor activity.
• Initial withdrawal temperament is found when kids get clingy, shy, and unresponsive in new situations and around unfamiliar people.
• Irregular temperament moves the youngster to escape the source of stress by needing to eat, drink, sleep, or use the bathroom at irregular times when he or she does not really have the need.
• Low sensory threshold temperament is evident when the youngster complains about tight clothes and people staring and refuses to be touched by others.
• Negative mood temperament is found when kids appear lethargic, sad, and lack the energy to perform a task.
• Negative persistent temperament is seen when the youngster seems stuck in his or her whining and complaining.
• Poor adaptability temperament shows itself when kids resist, shut down, and become passive-aggressive when asked to change activities.

I can see how you tried to understand Asperger's and temperament. However, most of these "temperaments" are descriptions of behavioral problems and not actual temperaments. Temperaments include strengths as well as weaknesses, assets as well as inhibitors. Certain temperament types do lead to certain behavioral problems, but temperaments in and of themselves are not behavioral problems.  Neither are behavioral problems temperaments.

I don't know how you came to nine specific "temperaments". I know that the enneagram has nine types within its system, but this hodgepodge of behavioral problems does not even begin to resemble enneagram types, even with a ton of stretching and twisting of these descriptions. This leads me to think that you did not study what the enneagram is or any system, for that matter. The rest of the post also gives off this strong "Asperger's is extreme Si" vibe. Why bother creating a "temperament system" when you don't even bother with the fact that people exist in a variety of temperaments?

The descriptions themselves look like they have been Google translated from another language. If someone originally wrote these in another language, you should have the basic human decency to credit the person who wrote it in the original language and mention that the text was translated from another language. I saw no such credit to any original author. If this is the case, you just stole someone's intellectual property without at least crediting them. If that is not the case, then this is just plain incoherence. This is a prominent website, so I expected better quality work than this. Please have the decency to name your work what it actually is. "Nine Types of Asperger's-Related Traits and Behaviors" would NOT have caused me ANY issue.

You have a degree. Please AT THE BARE MINIMUM take the time to look up information about other temperament theories before coming up with your own. The "low sensory threshold" thing is not a temperament. It is a neurological issue and, quite frankly, the only item on your list that is not a behavioral problem or merely a temperamental trait. People of a variety of temperaments can be intense, but for different reasons. For someone with an M.A. that you so publicly display, I am flabbergasted at the blatant misuse of the word "temperament" throughout your constructed system (and I am NOT at ALL selective about temperament systems). I know that everyone makes mistakes, but this is just a display of willful ignorance.

It is frustrating for me to maintain what little composure I have after reading this. A bit of research (as in: reading ONE article at the top of a web search) on the thing you were reporting on (and I use the terms "research" and "reporting" VERY loosely) would have prevented this atrocity of a "temperament theory" from coming into fruition. This is even worse than Keirsey's ADD hoax (and THAT was terrible).

Not only have you created this atrocity of a temperament theory, but you misuse the word meltdown as well. Meltdowns are not manipulative behaviors like tantrums, yet you cited "to get attention, get someone to listen, protest not getting their way, get out of doing something they do not want to do, punish a teacher for going away, for power, for revenge, fear of abandonment, etc" as meltdown causes. This shows that you do not know what meltdowns are and have, again, failed to do the simplest of research, which can simply to ask autistic people and those who know them for their input on meltdowns. The difference between a meltdown and a tantrum is basic common sense for anyone who knows remotely about autism. For being an "expert", you wrote one of the most willfully ignorant articles I have seen on the Internet. What I have drawn from your article is the following: (basically TL;DR)

Condescending attitude towards aspie students (continual use of "youngster")

Lack of knowledge of temperament

Not knowing what meltdowns are

Overall lack of research

Possible intellectual property theft 

Asperger's temperamental stereotypes despite the fact that you attempted to make a temperament theory

Overall, the only information I derived from this article was that you do not know what temperament theory is. I received no helpful information, just sheer lack of research. In conclusion, if you want people to use your resources, do your research! Again, I use the term "research" VERY loosely, so your research can be as simple as a quick glance at any kind of temperament website like Fighunter or 16personalities or actually getting to know the people you are reporting on. The education methods you mentioned also do not work for every single student. Not everyone operates well in the same strictly-controlled, sensory-sterile environment, something you should know very well as someone reporting on education. However, since you did not bother to take into account the aspies that need an open-ended approach, such as myself, that just speaks to your lack of professionalism in this article. Not everyone will trust you just because you have a degree that you likely display for the sake of looking credible. Some people actually read your work, so write accordingly!

Sincerely,
A Repulsed Choleric-Sanguine ESTP Aspie

Additional Note: I don't know about the overall credibility of the website itself, but this article is definitely on the lower end of things. Correct me if I am wrong, but this site appears to be intended to appeal to desperate parents stuck in cognitive function loops. Other material on the site might be okay, but don't use this site as your predominant source for Asperger's information.

The HTML went haywire, which explains the weirdly-colored text.

Now, I Only Want You Gone

Song: "Want You Gone" from Portal 2

Artist: Jonathan Coulton (lyricist) and Ellen McLain (singer) (Cover by me)

Language: English

Well, here we are again. It's always such a pleasure. The rift between autistic people and non-autistic parents of autistic children persists, leading to confusion. Personally, I am firmly with the autistic people and trying to explain the issue using temperament theory. The topics of cures, treatment methods, and what stimming means are especially controversial. It seems that both parties have similar temperaments, but different base values, which leads to some epic clashing.

 Under the circumstances, I've been shockingly nice. Though I will, to an extent, step back and let you do your thing, I still abhor Autism Speaks, the use of aversives, and "Quiet hands" the way others abhor racism. I could bash parents into the ground, but I know that is not the way I would want my ways to be perceived. After all, since I am the one tired of invalidation, why should I do the same?

You want your freedom? Take it. That's what I'm counting on. Keep in mind that your little Caroline is a human and that she has her own MO, but I do not know her while you do. Not everyone is going to agree with what you do with Caroline, but most people have good intentions for her. Most people do not hate people, but hate actions. 

Goodbye, my only friend. Oh, did you think I meant you? That would be funny if it weren't so sad. Being taught to play "the right way" with "the right things" defeats the purpose of play, which is to derive pleasure and have fun. It teaches that people will only love you for a learned image, not for who you really are. A friend of mine recalled an experience of an autistic girl who got her hair pulled by her (presumably neurotypical) peers claiming they were "styling" it. The girl excused their behavior by saying "They're my friends" because that is what her "therapist" told her.

If you don't want to listen to autistic people and, thus, by rejecting empirical evidence, you're someone else's problem. That's what I'm counting on. I'll let you get right to it because now, I only want you gone. You've got your short, sad life left. If you support Autism Speaks or promote the robbing of human rights from autistic people, I want you gone. Go make some new disaster because, now, I only want you gone.

Now, I only want you gone.

Hey, Wendy Katz! Not All Extroversion Is Sanguine

An autistic jobseeker under the name of "Wendy Katz" wrote about a specific form of temperamental discrimination known as extroversion bias here. This person learned how to feign extroversion on personality tests and answer lie scales to mirror a neurotypical person. As the official DiSCability blogger and pretty much the archetypal ENTP, I felt like I needed to deconstruct and analyze this piece and its ideas.

I am an extrovert myself. This person misunderstands the concept of extroversion (probably due to EEOC criteria) as "friendliness, preference for group interaction, skill with people, large amounts of happiness, etc." when this is a small facet of a specific variety of extroversion known in humoral theory as the sanguine temperament. Sanguines are generally friendly, upbeat, charismatic, and generally have the image people want to see. However, not all extroversion is sanguine as Katz seems to say.

This is not to say that I dislike this piece in its entirety. Actually, I rather relish the fact that someone bothered to point out the fact the adverse effects of temperamental discrimination. However, this person claims that extroversion is sanguine, which is wrong. Extroversion is also choleric. Cholerics are the "control freaks" (totally true) of the world. The people who ascend the corporate ladder, overthrow the system, and speak out with new, innovative ideas are most likely choleric.

The term "Extroversion bias" Katz uses actually refers to "Sanguine bias". The traits listed above all correspond to the sanguine temperament when lumped together into one temperamental pattern. They do not fit the choleric temperament although the choleric (especially the choleric-sanguine) tends to be good at being a "pseudosanguine" in order to ascend to more dominant positions. Introverts can be pseudosanguine, but it is generally more difficult. Choleric extroverts are generally more interested in getting the job done than having fun, which can make the choleric appear/be unfriendly despite the fact that the choleric is indeed an extrovert.

Please do not misunderstand what extroversion is based on this piece. The temperamental discrimination Katz describes is not extroversion bias, but it is sanguine bias. The EEOS stands for "Equal Employment Opportunity Commission", but its practice of temperamental and disability discrimination makes me wonder if they are what they claim to be at all. Sanguine bias is a problematic barrier for autistic jobseekers whatever their temperament is.

Discussion Questions

• Have you ever encountered sanguine bias when being employed?
• If you are an employer, what are you going to do to prevent sanguine bias?
• Do you think sanguine bias is problematic? Why or why not?
• Do you think "sanguine bias" or "extroversion bias" better describes what kind of temperamental discrimination Katz experienced? Explain why. 

Hey, Old Sport.

Warning: Major Spoilers for The Great Gatsby novel

Now that I have dropped out of the honors institute and read The Great Gatsby, I have now come to wonder what would have happened if I stayed and if I had met all the requirements. Would I have been glad and exhausted? Would I have just pulled through my "phase" or cracked under pressure? I spent my time reaching out to the green light of the designation and, when I took a closer look, I was disillusioned. Somehow, I was not suited to the imposed rigors. I felt like I had to feign someone who I wasn't.

Gatsby is a character that represents the American dream gone awry. He ran away a penniless farm boy known as James Gatz, imitated the mannerisms of millionaire Dan Cody, started bootlegging, and threw parties in the hopes that Daisy would show up. After first meeting Daisy, he wore his army uniform to conceal the fact that he was poor. Five years later, Daisy married a man as careless as herself and had a child by the name of "Pammy".

It is not the present Daisy that Gatsby loved, the careless Daisy who, with her husband, left destruction in her wake. Gatsby loved a past image of Daisy. He rose to greatness, threw parties, and sold alcohol illegally all for this Daisy. Academic performance was the "Daisy" of my life. I strove and strove for better and better grades. I observed the most intelligent people I knew. I emulated them, tried to understand them and be them. However, when I came closer to my goal, I pushed on despite the fact that it was not for me. My stubborn internal casuistry kept me going. If I can pull this off, I will be great, I thought. However, I slipped away from my dream as I trudged on. I failed. I grew to hate it. It was then that I realized that the dream I had intended for myself was not for me.

Gatsby represents the American dream gone awry: having it all and, at the same time, having nothing. He did everything for Daisy. When he had her, he felt an immediate rush. He wanted to pluck Daisy from Tom's hand, succeeded for a moment, and then lost her again. However, that did not discourage Gatsby. He pined in futility after Daisy to the point where it led to him dying in the pool he had never used. If I continued with my quest for academic excellence, my fate would have been similar. I would never have enjoyed the pool called music and ended up either failing, literally dying from suicide, or figuratively dying from this infatuation with high numbers strip away my enjoyment of life.

The basic principle of the American dream is to be better off than you were. For Gatsby, it was having a relationship with Daisy. For me, it was proving that a student like me can achieve academic greatness. However, both of our dreams went awry rather quickly. Gatsby rose to greatness because he wanted someone (and by extension something) he could not have.When he came close to having it, he denied that it was not for him. It ended up costing him his life, which is a reminder that not all dreams should come true, not all paths should be paved, and that "great" in the traditional sense is not always truly great.

Image Description(s):
Leonardo DiCaprio portraying Jay Gatsby holding a drink and smiling. The image has "Old Sport" written on it with what looks like custom strokes in white. 

About Food Aversions From a Food-Averse Autistic

Trigger Warning: Extensive use of graphic imagery, passing for normal, and implied gaslighting. Do not read if you are emetophobic.

Food aversions do not mean that I do not appreciate the effort your put into your food. They do not mean that I am spoiled or have anything against you personally. When I refuse your food, do not be offended. Food aversions mean that I view triggering foods as poison. I avoid them at all costs. I will vomit if I eat them, so there is no point in eating triggering foods for me. If you think your food is "healthy" and think I should eat it on those grounds, keep in mind that I will not acquire any of its nutritional benefits if I throw it back up anyway.

They are no joke. My gut twists every time I see autistic peoples' food aversions and preferences presented as cheap comedy fodder. If they like eating spaghetti with ketchup, they like eating spaghetti with ketchup. (This is one of my preferences.) You may even consider investing in the manufacturer depending on the extent of the preference. Food aversions are not a means of manipulation or merely pseudosensations that are all in our head. They are as real as the hum and glare of fluorescent lights, the dog barking across the street, and the tag stabbing me in the back of my neck. These are understood more than food aversions and I have a theory on why:

Taste is a primarily pleasurable stimulus to most people. While other senses are neutral, taste is generally perceived as a good thing. Neurodivergence can take this pleasure away from someone. It can twist the sense of taste so that what a neurotypical might see as delicious I see as poison. It is human nature that we expect others to act the way we do when presented with the same thing, so someone who derives pleasure from food may be baffled and even insulted when someone else does not have the same experience.

Imagine that there is pressure all around you to take "just a bite" of a rotten durian. Try hearing "It won't hurt" when forced to eat a Carolina reaper. Envision having poison ivy shoved down your throat because it's "good for you". This is what food aversions, at least to me, feel like. Luckily, I have accommodating friends and family. However, this is not the case with everyone. Some people force their poisons down their throat in order to "pass for normal".

If you have an "Eat at least one new thing" rule for a child with sensory issues that they absolutely refuse to comply with, take my perspective into account. Is getting a piece of trigger food down their throat worth the meltdown and/or vomiting that ensues? Dismissing the reality of food aversions is a form of gaslighting.

There are several "lessons" that one can learn from having their food aversions dismissed. They are as follows:

• Authorities are out to hurt you and not to be trusted.
• New things are inherently bad.
• Your bodily sensations are most likely "nothing".
• You have no control over anything.
• Your opinions are inherently invalid.
• You are not worth anyone's time.

In the case of severe food aversions that limit nutrition, consider the origin and patterns of the aversions. See doctors and specialists. Know that there are alternative ways to get adequate nutrients. (Did you know that there are vitamin Pop Rocks?) Let the affected person (might be you) try new foods on their own time and of their own volition. I tried calamari despite never having eaten other seafood before because I wanted to, not because anyone told me to do it. Had it been shoved in my face, I would have resisted new foods and experiences further.


My advice for parents of food-averse autistic children and other food-averse autistics is to work around their aversions and let them try food on their time in their own way. I do a "fingertip test" because I am easily overwhelmed by strong flavors. Just trust your child/yourself when you say they don't like something after a fingertip test. Don't say something like "You didn't even taste it" because that is gaslighting. While it is reasonable to restrict unhealthy foods to a certain frequency, I think you should have safe foods at hand or at least present options between unknown foods. Find ways around food aversions. I have a fairly restrictive diet in the eyes of most Nts, but I can get nutrients into my system and use the energy I acquire to devote time to my passions. There is no right or wrong way to adequate nutrition as long as no gaslighting or poison-forcing is involved.

"Special Needs" Applies More to Temperament Than it Does to Disability

(Possible Trigger Warning: Ableist quotes with temperament in place of disability. This is intended to be humorous/satirical.)

Needing to eat, drink, excrete wastes, sleep, learn, live in adequate shelter, have society, be as emotionally secure as possible, and to have a means of meeting these needs are among the universal needs of humans. However, when those needs have to be met unconventionally, especially in the case of disability, they become "special".

The term "special"  means "specific for a person, place, or circumstance." Universal needs are not special needs no matter how they are met. Every human has these needs regardless of any other factors. The term "special needs" in reference to disability presents universal needs among the disabled as a foreign concept. Universal needs are universal needs regardless of who has them, how they are fulfilled, or which needs crop up at what time.

On the contrary, temperamental needs are not universal to every person, but are not called "special" needs. Most people recognize temperamental needs as valid although not everyone has the same temperamental needs. Temperamental needs are more "special" than disability-related needs as they are specific to one's temperament. However, most people accommodate the temperamental needs of others and discuss temperament in order to bridge rifts and promote morale in businesses. I have never heard of anyone being actively discriminated against based on their DiSC type or MBTI. However, discussion of disability-related needs, which are in direct correlation with universal needs, seems to create rifts between others rather than bridge them. Discrimination based on disability is more common than discrimination based on temperament. (I can't use statistics for effect because I don't have empirical data on this.)


I have also never heard anyone say the following:

"Oh, you're supine? That's such a pity. I had a relative who used to be a supine, but with (arcane pseudoscience/therapy/hard work/abuse), s/he became (other temperament).

"You're not a real sanguine. I know X, who is a real sanguine."

"You must be a very high-functioning phlegmatic."

"It's 'person with melancholy,' not 'melancholic!"

"I could see why X murdered their choleric child. Cholerics are such a burden on society. These pseudo-choleric 'advocates' have no idea what they're talking about. Haven't they walked in a parent's shoes?"

I see less active perpetuation of negative temperamental stereotypes than I do with disability stereotypes. Sure, there are negative temperamental stereotypes, but they are strongly discouraged and are rarely used to attack others. Temperament enthusiasts also take into account other factors that can play into making the individual such as upbringing, physical health, life experiences, gender, age, and other factors. With disability, however, diagnostic overshadowing leads one to overlook these factors along with temperament.

Diagnostic overshadowing can lead one to believe that temperamental characteristics are parts of a disability/illness when they are not. A choleric and a phlegmatic with the same condition will manage it differently. The choleric goes about their life with great levels of alacrity and energy no matter their
 circumstances while phlegmatics are more laid-back. Diagnostic overshadowing would lead one to believe that the said choleric's illness is "not that bad" when the choleric is just using their internal motivation to work around their illness. Meanwhile, the phlegmatic's fatigue may look like the main
issue when it is not. The choleric's temperamental needs are control and dominance, which a
phlegmatic avoids because assertion taxes their energy reserves.

My question is: Why are disability needs considered "special" and dismissed when they are just about how universal needs are met when temperamental needs, which are not universal, are considered and validated as actual needs?  I am an autistic choleric-sanguine, not a choleric-sanguine with autism or an autistic with choler and sanguine. My autism-related needs are as valid as my choleric-sanguine-related needs. These parts make the whole I am. Take away either part and I will not be who I am. My need for control is more "special" than my need to avoid foods that will make me vomit. I wish for all needs to be respected as valid no matter what they are and how they are to be met.

The Mighty Practices Temperamental Discrimination

Every time I go on The Mighty, I see very little variety to the content and the way it flows. The stories tend to focus on emotions. They are clearly edited to fit a temperamental pattern. The Mighty claims to promote diversity, but they seemed to overlook temperamental diversity as an integral part of life with a disability. The stories seem to all come from multiple with the same reason for why they act the way they do. Thus, I think The Mighty is discriminating against writers of certain temperaments.

As a DiSCability blogger, I find it important that all temperaments get represented in the disability community. Most of The Mighty's content is posted by allies sharing their experiences as parents or those who are grieving the loss of their children. This alone concerns me because I would not run a violin store as a flutist who has never picked up a violin. Lists of things you wish others knew, not to say, and other compilations as well as the occasional "embracing myself" post penned by disabled writers are also common. Photo shoots are also popular pieces. 

But with such diversity, how can you possibly accuse them of the lack thereof?

All of these are clearly meant to appeal to people of the melancholic temperament. Sensitive, perfectionistic, and passionate, melancholics seem to make the perfect typical voice to drown out the disabled, right? At least The Mighty thinks so. The Mighty favors the meticulous melancholics while ignoring social sanguines, commanding cholerics, peaceful phlegmatics, and their perspectives. Even if one of these temperaments happens to slip under the editors' eyes, it is usually because they write with a melancholic style. 

In an already strongly predominantly melancholic community, temperamental diversity should be promoted and not squelched by publishing stories that follow the same archetypes that are clearly meant to appeal to the same temperament. Phlegmatics can write about how their "go with the flow" approach to life with their disability. Cholerics can contribute pragmatic, objective viewpoints as well as mobilize others to execute their visions. Sanguines can use their lighthearted sense of humor to prevent others from thinking of disability as an inherently sad or pitiful experience. It takes all four temperaments to show true diversity, not one. If you work for or support The Mighty, take the time to truly show "real people" and "real stories". This includes allowing each contributor to show their temperament. If you are actively protesting against The Mighty, use the tags #NotSoMighty and #TheMelancholy on your main mode of social media and talk about the systemic temperamental discrimination that runs rampant on the site.

Image Description: White text on a red background that reads "Real people. Real stories. Only melancholics' perspectives are real, though. Sanguines, phlegmatics, and cholerics need not contribute." "People" and "Stories" are bold. This is a satirical parody of The Mighty's slogan.

Autistic/ADHD ENTP (#16Disabilities)

I am an autistic ENTP. Since being an ENTP is a fairly new identity to me, I cannot delve into it as deeply as I would like to. ENTPs are, as a rule, dynamic and adaptable. ENTPs enjoy diving headfirst into new ideas and experiences. They are curious and a witty sense of humor. This MBTI opposes the stereotypical image of "autistic person," which is why I appear to be very "high-functioning" to most people (or maybe I'm a low-functioning ENTP).

I never really feel flustered or upset during breaks in the routine. In fact, I welcome reprieve from the routine. I intuited some aspects of social skills using my thinking function. I did things because no one said I couldn't do them. I pushed boundaries, experimented, gained awareness of the world through ideas, and took on seemingly insurmountable challenges. I had it easier than most, but no life is ever without its downfalls.

I didn't know I was an ENTP until recently. I mistyped as INTJ due to my pretending to be an introvert. Part of that I attribute to being in an introverted family and another part is fear of failure in general. I would rather have the entire world collapse around me than fail to meet a goal I have set for myself. For me, being an extrovert, rejection is failure. I feel rejection is a symphony of pain. The acute stabbing pangs of initial, direct rejections and dull, lingering aches from repeated or perceived rejections leave me erecting defensive walls as armor. 

Most things I do I do out of spite or sheer curiosity. I have rapidly shifting passions and find it difficult to commit to one thing. In order to decide that I wanted to play flute, I tried every other instrument available (clarinet, trumpet, euphonium, and saxophone) before deciding on the flute. It is not uncommon for me to stick with something I did on an impulse. I joined band entirely on a whim and it's an impulse I'm glad I followed. I also started blogging on an impulse, sometimes shifting my niche with no apparent reason other than that I need spontaneity. "P" types tend to be spontaneous in their doings.

I tend to move and fidget when I sit and take notes, but not very conspicuously. I'll jiggle my leg, twirl a pencil, and doodle random things. When I read, I listen to music when I do it because it helps me focus. Others would think it a distraction, but it helps me. I need immersive environments in order to be productive while others would find such a thing overwhelming. In order to swim, I need a "sea of stimulation," as I would call it, whereas others who are content with stimulation pools would feel like they are drowning. I like diving right into new ideas and experiences, but it takes me a few deep breaths to work up the courage to jump into the water.

Image Description:

1.  A horizontal bar graph titled "Your personality type is the debater (ENTP-A). Next to the graph is a fair-skinned, dark-haired man drawn in a geometric style smirking and saying "May I point out a couple mistakes in your argument?" At the bottom is a cyan button that says "Send results by E-mail."
1. Green bar=21% Extraverted 
2. Blue bar=56% Intuitive
3. Red bar=30% Thinking
4. Yellow bar=18% Prospecting 
5. Purple Bar=9% Assertive

Normal To Us All (Parody of Honor To Us All)

This is what they give me work with?

Well, they don’t come much worse!

Now, how can I turn this sow’s ear

Into a silk purse?

We’ll have you

Speaking so

That AAC device’s screen won’t glow.

Hope that eye contact will smartness show.

You’ll be normal to us all.

Wait and see. When we’re done,

Your peers will not think you weird, but fun.

With no stimming

And no complex puns,

You’ll be normal to us all.

By pretending to be normal,

You will make us proud.

Just don’t plug your ears

When we will cheer loud.

They want you

In this range,

Smart,

High-functioning,

To work fast-paced.

If you’re otherwise,

Then you’re a waste.

Please be normal to us all.

Everyone who’s typical

Is perfect in all ways.

You can only blend

To maybe join their ranks.

Like this, you’ll

Only fail

Trying to succeed to

No avail.

All the typicals will say

“No sale”.

So, be normal to us all.

You're not ready yet.

A social story so you don't forget,

And harsh punishments if you do.

Do not look so nervous.

Stand tall and proud and own it. 

Stay within the bounds I set.

I hope you won't blow it.

Can someone help me please?

They don't seem to see what's underneath.

And I hope that I can understand

What is normal, after all?

Hiding, passing, blending, bending

Might give me a happy ending. 

Fate, help me,

Go unseen

So much that I cannot

Express my needs.

They don't matter 

'Cause of who I am,

I might as well just be a doll.

Please be normal to us.

Please be normal to us.

Please be normal to us.

Please be normal to us.

Please be normal to us all.

Disney movies are my preferred form of entertainment, so I decided to write this parody of "Honor to us All" from Mulan to humorously reflect on "passing for normal."

How To Teach an Autistic Band Student

Disclaimer: This is from a student's perspective and entirely based on my experiences. 

This article was written assuming the autistic student in question chose band voluntarily as a pursuit and is committed to some degree to the subject. 

Beginning Students

1. Let the student choose their instrument. I have read an article in which an autistic student that chose flute was switched to trumpet because the director thought the flute was "too hard." This resulted in the student's dissatisfaction and frustration. A student will be more likely to succeed playing the instrument of their choice because, with their instrument, they choose the trials that come with such an instrument. 
• Never, under any circumstances, give a student a broken or defunct instrument. It is hard enough to learn an instrument without having it not work properly. Frustration is more intense in an autistic student. If they cannot figure out the problem with the instrument, they will melt down and be discouraged with band. 
2. Do not automatically lower your expectations. Not only is this fatal to musical growth, but it lowers the student's self-esteem. Setting low standards creates a toxic train of thought that leads to the student settling for less than their absolute best. Adjusting standards is one thing, but completely lowering them is another. Regardless of the student's disability/ies, current skill level, or other factors, having condescendingly low expectations is not acceptable.
3. Do not set standards too high. Setting quixotic standards leads to the same toxic train of thought mentioned above. This applies to all students as well. A continuous cycle of disappointment in band will be broken one of two ways: by quitting band with a residual hatred of performance left over 
4. Assess the student as an individual. Any good teacher knows that no two students respond to the same stimulus in exactly the same way for exactly the same reasons. Autistic students are no different. Two such students might, in fact, be foils to each other in the way they receive sensory input from the band. For example, one student may plug their ears during loud sections in the music while another will relish the swells in the music. 
5. Accommodate the student as needed--and only as needed. Making a few exceptions to the concert attire rules to accommodate tactile sensitivities, permitting the wearing of headphones, and allowing the student to quietly fidget onstage can be the difference between a successful performance and a meltdown. If you absolutely cannot accommodate a need, explain why. Take care that low expectations do not manifest as over-accommodating, so, if you are ever unsure, just ask. 
6. Let the student move at their own pace. Most students have some variability in their learning paces. An autistic student's variabilities will be intensified. It might take them five days to learn how to change between two notes in the initial stages, but music might be smooth sailing from there. 
7. Treat the student as you would any member of the ensemble. Expect them to practice at home, balance and blend with the others, be in tune, and hold them to the standards others are held to where there is no need for adjustment. 

Intermediate and Advanced Students

1. Offer the opportunity of extracurricular ensembles and music festivals as you would to any other student, but do not force or coerce. As with any group of students, there are a passionate select few always scanning the world for opportunities to pick up their instrument. Withholding such opportunities from a passionate student will be detrimental to their music growth as well as their self-esteem. If a student is active in band to the extent they choose to be, they will love it and may increase in activity later. 
2. Emphasize personal improvement over chair position. Asking "Why are you still in X chair?" rather than "Where were you last, where are you now, and where do you want to be?" is not conducive to healthy musical growth in any musician. It might produce a short term response, but emphasis on chair position over personal improvement promotes egotism and a hostile ensemble environment.  
3. Accept the reason the student is in band. Some students are in band because they are serious and passionate about music; such students may pursue it as a career. Others simply like the people in band enough to pursue the subject as a hobby. Use this reason to your advantage in order to promote growth and improvement. 
4. Adjust as needed. As a student goes through band and, ultimately, life, their needs change. Band fulfills many needs at once: for society, cognitive development, and for motivation. The satisfaction the student derives from band can change over time. 
5. Assist in problem-solving as requested/needed. Generally, autistic students to not respond well to eye-rolling and sarcasm. If they are still out of tune, offer tips that will help with them staying in tune rather than scoffing "You're still out of tune?". Problems with communication can prevent the student from saying "I need assistance with X." Offer your assistance, but do not force it. Most people resent being "helped" without their permission and would rather make their own successes rather than get dragged into them.

Other Tips

1. Let meltdowns run their course. Do not try to resolve them or teach during a meltdown. In these emotional explosions, one's IQ can decrease by 30 points. They are not the same as tantrums because they are not in any way controlled or a means to achieve one's whims and desires. Only use restraint if their or another student's immediate safety is at risk. Restraint and cornering will only make it worse.
• Never call the police during a meltdown. Many autistic people die or are traumatized at the hands of law enforcement.
2. Remember that behavior is communication. Rarely do autistic people display belligerence simply for the sake of doing so. They might be tired, overwhelmed, hungry, or just plain having a bad day when acting out.
3. Never, ever enforce "quiet hands" policies despite what the "specialists" and "experts" say. Autistic people stim as a means of staving off sensory and/or emotional overload, self-expression, and meeting their needs. Redirection to an alternative should take place if the stim is harmful or disruptive--and only if it is harmful or disruptive.
4. Emphasize individual assets. Though self-esteem varies widely by the individual and their temperament, autistic people tend to have lower self-esteem than their neurotypical counterparts. Offer affirmation regularly and specifically. We get tired of hearing a trite, infantile "Good job" and want to specifically hear what we did well. Whether lower self-esteem is the sensing of being different or a temperamental trend I am not sure, but keep this in mind when giving feedback. 
5. Embrace the student's learning method. Every learning style has a way to yield desired results. Your teaching methods may conflict with the student's learning methods, so this creates the need for one person to adapt. Whether the student or the teacher is required to adapt depends on the particular pairing, but one must yield to unsure success. 

These tips are meant to accommodate a variety of abilities, temperaments, backgrounds, experience levels, and other variations.

Somehow Without Any Words (Autistics Speaking Day 2015)

 I do speak through writing and oral communication, but I communicate that which is beyond words through music.

The piece before you is "Everything's Alright" by Laura Shigihara. It is from the visual novel "To the Moon." River, one of the main NPCs in To the Moon, has Asperger's Syndrome; she folds paper rabbits after seeing one killed at their wedding and is attached to a lighthouse named Anya. In an early childhood belief, she said the stars to be lighthouses far away from each other, that they were lonely and in need of friends, but unable to reach out to others.

Aside from music having an integral role in To the Moon and my obsession with Laura Shigihara's music, I chose to arrange "Everything's Alright" to, somehow without any words, tell the story from River's perspective. The blend of dissonances and consonances illustrates a life with Asperger's Syndrome for the bittersweet reality it is.

Throughout the game, River speaks a language of symbolism. She uses rabbits to try to get her husband, John, to remember their first meeting and why he wanted to go to the moon. In the same way her condition manifests as seeing others dispersed throughout her life, but being unable to reach them. By befriending a lighthouse, she communicates her need for connection, but inability to express that desire.

The other NPC with Asperger's Syndrome, Isabelle, was diagnosed while young and learned to acquire a "systematic guise of social norms" as she calls it. She feels that the real her has long become a stranger and both envies and pities River due to her decision to "remain an outcast." It is not uncommon for girls and women with the disorder to "become chameleons" and try to blend in, thus masking the presence of Asperger's Syndrome and the related needs and difficulties that come with it.

To my fellow autistics, I ask this: Are you more of a River or an Isabelle? There are advantages and disadvantages to both approaches that work (or don't) for people of different temperaments and experiences. Through my arrangement, I said more than I ever could have in my entire history of blogging. If someone were to tell me to describe a life with Asperger's Syndrome/autism/PDD (I use these terms interchangeably in reference to myself.), I would use this arrangement to do it. I'd do it somehow without any words.