The ESTP's INFJ Shadow

Image Description: The image reads "The ESTP and their INFJ shadow"
with "The ESTP and their" being in Perpetua and "INFJ Shadow" being
in Zapfino. "ESTP" is in dark scarlet (#EE2E25). "INFJ Shadow" has a white outline
and a black fill. The words the, and, and their are completely white. The image is on a
black background.

I've read about how INFJs experience an ESTP shadow, so I'm turning the tables and explaining how ESTPs experience their INFJ shadow.

The ESTP under normal circumstances is pragmatic, outspoken, and energetic. This is because the ESTP is operating using their dominant and auxiliary function (Se and Ti respectively) to do whatever ESTPs do. Carl Jung shed light on our shadow selves by understanding and explaining it through the interface of cognitive functions. Like all facets of ourselves, our shadow self should be acknowledged and understood like we try to understand our conscious selves.

The ESTP's shadow mirrors negative traits of the INFJ personality type. The INFJ type is often venerated as one of the most insightful and enigmatic types. However, a negative manifestation of the INFJ's intrinsic qualities that surfaces when an ESTP is tired, overwhelmed, depressed, or just not themselves is a force to be reckoned with. Especially due to the nature of the INFJ, ESTPs need to take extra care in managing their shadow selves.

ESTPs in their INFJ Shadow often Find Themselves

• Missing opportunities due to anticipatory anxiety and not wanting to be a waste of time
• Imagining worst case scenarios
• Questioning their moral compass
• Absorbing emotions from others and having no idea what to do with them
• Self-loathing
• Acting hypercritical of themselves
• Abstaining from things they normally enjoy in the absence of a desire for self-improvement
• Projecting negative futures for themselves
• Not wanting to pursue their passions
• Overtaken by uncharacteristic apathy and/or pessimism (TL;DR)

This grip experience leads to a reduction in self-care. In your INFJ shadow, you may start disregarding your physical health and your work and hobbies. This is known as a "grip" because you feel like you're being slowly strangled in a large fist.

To get out of the grip and get back to a healthy order of your functions, get out and do something totally Se-oriented. Take a walk, invite a friend over to have fun, buy some nice clothes, listen to music, and/or make and savor your favorite food. Use Ti to analyze a cool new theory or explain a concept.

Now matter how long or short you've been in your INFJ shadow, your Se and Ti will remind you that this grip is irrational and that you should get some sun and stimulation. Take the time to get to know your shadow self and acknowledge it as a part of who you are. ESTPs generally don't delve into the deepest depths of themselves, so take it as an opportunity to explore!


This is a mashup of Clarity and Wildfire by JubyPhonic. I think mirrors the struggle of an Ni grip (Clarity) and struggling to get back to healthy functions (Wildfire).

This song, Tokyo Teddy Bear (dubbed again by JubyPhonic), reflects inferior Ni and the ESTP.

Does This Look Familiar?

Animation Description: An energetic dog dragging a reluctant horse with a teal rope on an open grass area

I felt like this GIF describes the ESTP/INFJ dynamic. Essentially, what happens is the following:

• ESTP: I want to dance or have an adventure or...do something! Come on, INFJ!
• INFJ: Seriously, ESTP! Why not rest and just BE?
• ESTP: That's boring! YOU ARE COMING WITH ME WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!
• INFJ: If you say so...

The ESTP Desk Flip

Image Description: An angry stick figure sitting in a chair flipping a desk. The caption reads "The Guide to the ESTP desk flip" and there is a memegenerator.net watermark in the bottom right corner.

You've probably heard of the INFJ door slam or even the ENTP lamp toss (which is more of a passive-aggressive rant on the whole "INFJs are special and rare" thing written by an ENTP), but have you heard of the ESTP desk flip? Each MBTI has its own trademark gesture that indicates that the person has reached their breaking point, but the INFJ door slam is the most well-known. These posts are mostly generated by intuitives, so I'd thought I'd add my sensor perspective to the mix.

After figuring out that I have inferior Ni, I figured out that I am not ENTP, but ESTP. I'm not a Rational, but an Artisan. I am a Promoter rather than an Inventor. When an ESTP reaches their breaking point, they break out into a focused, yet incoherent rage known as the "ESTP desk flip"  which does not necessarily involve said ESTP flipping a desk, but the noise level definitely comes close.

The Buildup
The camel's back will not break under a single straw. Ordinarily, ESTPs are generally happy people. We like getting involved in a variety of things and engaging in some healthy competition. ESTPs are the ones who will convince you to go an a roller coaster with them because they're terrified...of being bored. While we can appear shallow and careless, we aren't. Some things just never come up on our radar. ESTPs will find any excuse to promote and create an awesome moment. They are generally fiercely independent and do not like to be restrained. However, ESTPs are adaptable and like to please others. They can adapt to a systematic environment, but not without quite an emotional toll.

When it Occurs
It is draining for the ESTP to work within a system. This causes the ESTP to revert to inferior Ni. In inferior Ni, the ESTP forgets the moment, overthinks, and imagines worst case scenarios. In an effort to get out of this state, the ESTP overindulges pleasures like food, drink, social media, and blogging, which leads to more long-term stress. Eventually, the piling on of stress on the ESTP, a very stress-tolerant type, creates a flash flood of stress when one more stressor is added. In this onslaught of falling stress, the ESTP loses their composure and responds with an intense diatribe of short duration.The ESTP is usually fine after their outburst, but others are not. ESTPs have hairtrigger tempers when they are stressed and generally stubbornly push through things without asking for help. (ALL part of my ESTPerspective). ESTPs have "Ti explosions" when this occurs. They will be pure personal logic during the desk flip and have no consideration for others during the process. Do not take anything the ESTP says during the desk flip personally. You are reasoning with pure anger at this point.

How to Prevent It

• As an ESTP
• If you feel like you're on the verge of a desk flip, eat a healthy snack, take a deep breath, count to 10, and, if possible, remove yourself from the stressor by doing something else. If it is not possible, reassess the stressor and work through it when you are calmer. Do not look at other people when you work. Think "I will do something fun when this is done" and that should give you the drive to get something done without desk flipping.
• As someone who knows an ESTP
• Offer diversions to the distressed ESTP. Let them go for a walk, listen to music, or do whatever it takes to get the ESTP to calm down. Scenery changes do wonders for ESTPs under stress. If you have an errand to run that you don't want to do, get the ESTP to do it if possible. ESTPs like doing;anything that includes completing little tasks that involve getting up and going somewhere is right up the ESTP's alley. Surprise the ESTP and praise them for their talents and achievements. Compliments are the prime motivator of ESTPs.

Post-Desk Flip

• For ESTPs
• Post desk-flip, you may feel tired or feel like crying. Don't try to set things straight right away, but do so when you are back to your rational mind. Not everyone can get over your angry outbursts as quickly as you can, so make sure to apologize and clean up your mess when you set things straight. 
• For People Who Know ESTPs 
• Know that when ESTPs rage, curse, and scream in your face, that is just the way ESTPs are. ESTPs externalize their emotions. Give the ESTP some space to breathe and provide a diversion such as a change of scenery. Empathize with the ESTP and give them the courage to keep going on and give the ESTP s shoulder to cry on when necessary.