Disability and the Five Temperaments Part 2b: The Melancholic

Melancholics are analysts and strategists. They are serious, conscientious people and tend to worry about minutia. A melancholic tends to verbalize their concerns rather than acting on them like a choleric would. Melancholics often have the intelligence, but lack the confidence, to advocate for themselves. Their ability to notice small things and self-sacrificial nature allows melancholics to work around problems that plague others.

How a Melancholic Deals
Melancholics generally keep to themselves and tend to internalize their feelings. A melancholic will usually turn to a creative field or thinking time to regulate their emotions. In their goals, a melancholic tends to spend considerable time analyzing the options and taking the route they see as best. Melancholics tend to respond better to devices than the assistance of others as they generally wish not to be a bother to others. These people "move at their own pace" and do not take well to systems. The melancholic way of advocacy consists of using internalized minutia thoughts to address an issue or express an idea.

What to Watch For
In some programs, melancholics, especially those with intellectual disabilities, are pushed to look more sanguine for others' convenience. If you care about their wellbeing, steer clear of these programs. Suppressing one's natural temperament is exhausting and creates unneeded frustration. Take care that a melancholic has time to think. Melancholics especially benefit from time to do whatever they like, especially when they look like they "do nothing" during that time. Generally, melancholics have low self-esteem due to their high standards and tend to fall into depressive states when their standards are not met for an important goal. A melancholic will most likely voice their concerns

The Melancholic and Therapies
A melancholic may wish to change themselves to meet their own standards in behavior modification therapies; however, not being able to meet someone else's standards may drive their self-esteem further into the ground. Melancholics tend to respond well to small social groups and expressive therapies like art and music therapy. However, therapy overload drains a melancholic, especially physical therapies. Simply allowing a melancholic to do their own thing can serve as "therapy". Melancholics set high standards for themselves and tend to end up in a vicious cycle of trying to be "normal". Make sure a melancholic knows they can be content where they are, but still promote the pursuit of personal goals.

Melancholics and Acquired Disability
Most often, a melancholic will mourn the ability to meet their own standards when they acquire a disability. This is a turbulent time for melancholics as they wish to meet high standards regardless of any situation. A melancholic may suspect that others are lowering their standards due to their disability and, thus, lack contentment as melancholics are prone to doing. Melancholics will most likely retreat within themselves and become invisible. Some gradually grow more visible as they become more comfortable with themselves; others may never be content with their new brain/body. Since melancholics internalize what they hear, the people around them play an integral role in how a melancholic would cope with an acquired disability. The problem-solving nature of the melancholic allows them to achieve within the standards they set for themselves and work around any complications that occur.

Melancholics and Assistance
Either a melancholic will seek assistance to help them meet their standards or be reluctant to do so in order to maintain their high standards. Melancholics hold high standards for the people who assist them; they will discontinue receiving assistance if they cannot find someone that meets their standards. A melancholic may discredit achievements by attributing them to assistance or go out of their way describing how they didn't meet their goal. This temperament would rather provide than receive assistance, but will do so if it means they can provide more assistance.

"Do" for a Melancholic

• Accept them unconditionally.
• Empathize with their concerns. 
• Comfort them when they need it.
• Let them set their standards; they will most likely be adequate.
• Teach them about accepting mistakes.
• Provide a creative outlet such as a field related to the fine arts.
• Introduce a melancholic to other friends to let them know that they are not alone.
• Present an opportunity for a melancholic to assist you. 
• Criticize constructive and only when necessary.
• Give genuine praise.

"Don't" for a Melancholic

• Rub their unmet standards in their face.
• Set unattainable goals
• Demand perfection. Melancholics do this already. 
• Only like something due to pity.
• Criticize destructively or in excessive quantity. 
• Give backhanded "praise".

The Melancholic Disability Advocate

• Talks about minutia and ties them to certain ideas
• May complain of an issue in a whinging kind of way rather than demanding or putting down
• Inclined towards blogging to advocate
• Varied degrees of inclination to leadership roles
• Looks out for the wellbeing of others
• Empowers others and humbles themselves
• Sacrifices self for others
• Uses their talents and interests to defeat stereotypes 
• Frets about small matters
• Does not "forget" incidents in the same way others do
• Cautiously optimistic for others

Being diligent, logical, and self-sacrificing, melancholics are pessimistic idealists that see problems and have a desire to solve them. Melancholics give the contemplating conscience to advocacy and see two, three, or perhaps millions of sides to every account/story. This temperament's strengths are problem-solving and critical thinking with weaknesses being over-thinking (if there is such a thing to a melancholic) and holding grudges.