The use of the word "gifted" as a compliment gets under my skin. Contrary to popular belief, giftedness is not only advantageous. It is merely abnormally high intelligence in one or more areas. There are certain perks that come with giftedness, but it comes with a terrible curse that I would never wish on anyone, not even my worst enemies.
First of all, the use of "gifted" as a compliment dismisses any hard work that went into said task. It implies that their craft came into fruition more easily than it really did and that hard work is not a viable means of achieving a goal. While most crafts require some iota of talent in that thing, hard work and passion are as conducive to success, if not more than, talent. Raw talent's limitations are that, once it has reached its limits, it needs something else to further its benefits. In other words, the use of "gifted" as a compliment undermines the role of passion and work ethic in the product and only focused on talent.
Secondly, it is just as bad as the use of intellectual disability as an insult. Higher intelligence is just another variant of human existence like the distribution of intelligences in a particular person. Why aren't the mothers of gifted children fervently campaigning to end the use of the word gifted as a compliment? Why are people more accepting of the use of gifted as a compliment? It's the same thing: the use of someone else's perceived intelligence to place them on subjective levels of worth. It denies other intrinsic qualities about the person. Some of the most arrogant and shallow people I know are my academic superiors.
Gifted is not a compliment, so don't use it as one! Comment instead on the aesthetic quality or ingenuity of the craft and the thought and effort put into it. Getting complimented for talent is trite anyway. Even if the result was effortless, think of the times when creating the product would have been more laborious. No great things come to be without hard work. Take my blog for example (since it's right in front of your face). Look at the cute custom font (Dancing Script italics). I had to work out numerous parsing errors in order to just be able to save the HTML, much less get results. For those of you who remember my old blog, do you remember that old serif? The reason I changed it is not due to my giftedness, but because I hated it so much that I was motivated to work to change it to what I wanted.
Why am I even writing a post about this? Has anyone else thought of the use of gifted as a compliment and the harm it can bring about? Or is this a new idea to you?
Definitely not a new idea to me - comes from personal and field experience. Though I have not quite thought about it in this way or these terms.
ReplyDeleteProbably the hard work dismissal is the one that came up the hardest:
"It implies that their craft came into fruition more easily than it really did and that hard work is not a viable means of achieving a goal. While most crafts require some iota of talent in that thing, hard work and passion are as conducive to success, if not more than, talent. Raw talent's limitations are that, once it has reached its limits, it needs something else to further its benefits. In other words, the use of "gifted" as a compliment undermines the role of passion and work ethic in the product and only focused on talent."
Hard work is a viable means of achieving a goal. It has its own benefits too. Which a person praised as gifted may or may not be able to see.
And when talent hits its ceiling it can explode and implode.
"Why aren't the mothers of gifted children fervently campaigning to end the use of the word gifted as a compliment?"
I think this campaign might come from the fathers and extended family members, if and when it is to happen at all.
In my experience, the male members of my family were more likely to talk about and model passion and hard work.
This can be a bit of a Mommy Dearest effect/reflected glory.
"It's the same thing: the use of someone else's perceived intelligence to place them on subjective levels of worth."
And that makes intrinsic into an extrinsic, intended or not.
"Comment instead on the aesthetic quality or ingenuity of the craft and the thought and effort put into it. Getting complimented for talent is trite anyway. Even if the result was effortless, think of the times when creating the product would have been more laborious. No great things come to be without hard work. Take my blog for example (since it's right in front of your face). Look at the cute custom font (Dancing Script italics). I had to work out numerous parsing errors in order to just be able to save the HTML, much less get results. For those of you who remember my old blog, do you remember that old serif? The reason I changed it is not due to my giftedness, but because I hated it so much that I was motivated to work to change it to what I wanted."
I do remember that old serif.
Hate as a motivation - it too has its limits.
Hate as a working group and a catalyst for change...
A lot of people go and see the effortless result and aspire for/to that.
In pregnancy and childbirth people often forget the hard work in pursuit of the result. This may be a hormonal/biological effect.
Existence has variants. It is varied.
Third: it isn't fair.
ReplyDeleteIf you recognise and encourage passion and hard work in those you do not label "gifted"; why obviate it in those who are?
Those with more intelligence and talent have their work dismissed as mere products of their makeup while those who lack such things actually have their effort recognized.
DeleteAnd yet "makeup" can connote hard work.
DeleteRecognition of effort can be a big thing in itself.
Worked very hard on Denise Parry's thesis. It's in Autistic Thesis Maker on Tumblr. Asked all the questions I could think of about methodology and the rights element.
I see you do well with short and pithy comments. I try to be the same - more direct as well.
Of course my question was directed to the obviators.
Probably like the Quora question to adolescent bullies and how they feel about their actions 10, 15, 20 years later and what they might have done now.
When "makeup" has its products ... is this inevitable?
I must be honest, I've never thought about how referring to higher end of the "intelligence" spectrum (for lack of better words) this way could also be derogatory. You've given me a lot to think about! As Always, thanks for sharing. I learn a lot from you!
ReplyDeleteThis question (Why is it more acceptable to use gifted as a compliment than intellectual disability as an insult?) was in the back of my head for a long time. I just don't think it occurs to people that giftedness can be a bad thing.
DeleteI have used 'gifted' as a description, otherwise it is often assumed that when you describe someone as autistic you mean that they also have an intellectual disability , which I would also use as a description.
ReplyDeleteDescriptions, like "musician", "female", and "choleric" are fine. I use descriptions all the time. I have a problem, however, when they become levels of intrinsic worth. For example, am I really better than a sanguine because I am choleric? "Gifted" as a compliment hurts. "Gifted" as a neutral descriptor is totally fine.
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