Nothing: School Edition

A Chorus Line songs are so fun to rewrite for a school setting!

Diana (spoken): It was my sophomore year. I was so excited to finally have a break from algebra. My brain makes it a little hard to process math, but that's not what made it so bad. Anyway, it was the first day of geometry and I had Mr. Karp for a teacher. Ugh, Mr. Karp. Mr. Karp, he would seat us at our desks, arranged in rows, and he says "Okay, we're learning about postulates. Now, here are the notes and the textbooks are on the shelf. Okay, go."

Diana (singing):
Every day for a week, I would try to
Do the problems, Do the problems
On the sheet.

Every day for a week, we would try to
Get the answers, get the answers,
Have ends meet.

So I searched and searched to the bottom of my brain
To see what I had inside.
Yes, I searched and searched to the bottom of my brain
And I tried, I tried.

And everyone is going: Yes, Yes!
It's 34! It's 55! It's 78!
And Mr. Karp turns to me and says
"Okay, Morales. What did you get?"

And I said
"Nothing. I'm getting nothing."
And he says
"Nothing could get someone transferred."

They all got something,
But I got nothing
Except the feeling that this nonsense was absurd.

But I said to myself
"Hey, it's only the first week. It's probably genetic.
I mean, what are postulates? Am I right?"

Second week, more advanced
And we had to find the measure
Of an angle
With algebra.

Mr. Karp, he would say
"Very good, except Morales.
Try, Morales.
All alone."

So I searched and searched to the bottom of my brain
To see how the problems went.
Yes, I searched and searched to the bottom of my brain
Yes, I tried, so spent.

The kids yelled "Nothing."
They called me "Nothing."
And Karp allowed it,
Which really makes it burn.

They were so "helpful"
And I was hopeless,
So I knew not the direction
I should turn.

And Mr. Karp kept saying
"Morals, If you keep this up, you'll fail the class and never be able to survive Algebra II."
Oh my gosh.

Went to church, praying
"Santa Maria, send me guidance
Send me guidance"
On my knees.

Went to church, praying
"Santa Maria, help me know it.
Help me know it."
Pretty please.

And a thought came up from the bottom of my brain
And travelled to heart from head.
Yes, a thought came up from the bottom of my brain
Here is what it said:

This math is nothing.
This course is nothing.
If you want something, go take a language class.
You could learn Chinese. You could learn German
And I assure you that's what finally came to pass.

Six months later, I heard that Karp had died.
And I searched and searched to the bottom of my brain
And cried
'Cause I got nothing.

Diana (spoken):
I mean, I didn't want him to die or anything, but....