Fine, Take It.

This post is intended to give you insight into my personality and who I am. Everything I say is up for discussion and debate.

Someone in my French class took the seat that I had been assigned. She told me to move because I was in her seat, to which I responded "Check the chart." Again, this girl insisted that the seat was hers. With absolute certainty, she had taken my assigned seat. I arrived to the class before her; after I settled, I, after a minor escalation in temper, let her have it. Fine. Take it. I don't like you anyway. I thought. The day resumed as normal.

I don't know why she took my seat. Other than this one incident, I know nothing of her character. Perhaps she misread the seating chart or was misplaced from several other seats and frustrated about that. Maybe she thinks nothing of displacing a fellow student, but the incident shook me to my core. Everywhere I go, I find a place only to be usurped. All of my friends have other friends and favor them over me. While I am content to be alone, I do not like to be rejected or ignored. I have the right to refuse social contact and I have the right to accept it.

Whether or not this girl intended to send me a message by taking my seat I do not know. I go about my life with a "writer personality." Every life event has some sort of symbolism or foreshadowing that is applicable to the future. This moment in French class reminded me of years of exclusion, misplacement, and being the friend that someone makes, but sets to the side after a while. I may think too much about life's minutia, but I cannot simply "get over" something the way others do.

In true supine-melancholic fashion, I internalize everything that anyone says to or about me and take it to heart rather than retort. Then, I reflect on the meaning of the event and what it means for the future rather than what I could have done. I plan to be civil to her in the future. An isolated incident is only that and, since I know nothing else of her character, will let history (and God) judge her rather than me.