Did We Really Choose it Right Saying We're Okay This Way?

What does a teacher see when writing grades into their gradebook? Perhaps they see intellect. Perhaps they see effort. They might even see a student's interest or the lack thereof in their particular field. A student's "good" and "bad" days might be apparent in the numbers. The distribution of their students' intelligences related to the subject as well as trends and patterns can be found in the string of numbers called grades.

Much information can be milked from strings of numbers. However, numbers can only tell so much. Guess the students' emotional states, life circumstances, and what's on their hearts. Good luck doing that. You might assume that the students with okay grades are doing okay, but that's not always true! Likewise, the kid you envy for achieving milestones every minute could be the one hating themselves at the end of the day for not doing more. Your colleague/classmate who always seems to get awards could be the one thinking in the back of their mind "It's all meaningless".

Depression does not discriminate. It doesn't care about your age, gender, temperament, occupation, race, previous disability status, or anything else. Look around you for the clinically depressed people. Chances are, unless you're a very skilled psychologist, you can't spot them at a glance. You didn't think it would be the choleric-sanguine overachiever or the easygoing, almost universally-loved sanguine-phlegmatic. The analytical melancholic-phlegmatic never quite content with themselves seemed more likely. Maybe you were almost certain it was the brooding melancholic-choleric. Depression is not exclusive to predominantly melancholic temperaments.

It's nonfiction. Find the one who dyed their red heart to black. It might even be you. It doesn't do you any good to mask it with achievements; you will only fail wanting more and more until you get sucked into a black hole of stress. No one is too talented, too privileged, or too bubbly to suffer from depression. There is no temperament, MBTI type, IQ, or enneagram type immune to depression. No GPA financial standing, sports team position, chair in a musical ensemble, or social status is viable armor against such a thing. Talent or the lack thereof is not an indicator of depression either.

I watched a video about a pianist with no hands. Some people would call him inspirational. I call him an excellent and dedicated musician. Music tends to attract self-critical people, so I wonder if, behind his very well-coordinated limbs, lies a mind telling him that he will never be good enough, that he is just a gimmick made to please the small-minded masses. Part of me wonders if he worries that children like him are pressured by their parents to hone their talents in the hopes of emulating him. Does he ever want to quit out of fear of never meeting his standards?

What about the anxiety-ridden student who drops out of an opportunity for an academic honor saying "It's not for me"? Why is this student dismissed as weak and a quitter while the pianist is almost venerated? That student probably worked up as much courage to say "It's not for me" as, if not more than, the pianist gathered to perform. The brain is a physical member of the body that undergoes physical processes to keep the rest of our body functioning. Why is it that sensible, reasonable people who would never make fun of cancer would not hesitate to poke fun at a mental illness?

Again, did we really choose it right saying we're okay this way? Depression affects overachievers, average achievers, and underachievers alike. It affects a variety of people regardless of where they come from. Even without a mental illness, everyone is fighting a hard battle. It is not anyone's right to invalidate another person's experiences and hardships just because they think their or another person's problems are worse.

Song: Lost One's Weeping (slower piano version)
Artist: Neru (Dub by JubyPhonic)
Language: English dubbed from Japanese
Instrumental: Wing (Link is here)

The Cinnamon Roll Meme and LaHaye Blends

This has been done to MBTI, but it can apply to LaHaye blends!

Looks like a cinnamon roll, but can kill you: MelPhleg, MelSan, PhlegChlor
Looks like they can kill you, but is a cinnamon roll: MelChlor, SanChlor, SanMel
Looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll: PhlegMel, PhlegSan, SanPhleg
Looks like they can kill you and is likely to do so: ChlorSan, ChlorMel, ChlorPhleg

What do you think?

Hey, Wendy Katz! Not All Extroversion Is Sanguine

An autistic jobseeker under the name of "Wendy Katz" wrote about a specific form of temperamental discrimination known as extroversion bias here. This person learned how to feign extroversion on personality tests and answer lie scales to mirror a neurotypical person. As the official DiSCability blogger and pretty much the archetypal ENTP, I felt like I needed to deconstruct and analyze this piece and its ideas.

I am an extrovert myself. This person misunderstands the concept of extroversion (probably due to EEOC criteria) as "friendliness, preference for group interaction, skill with people, large amounts of happiness, etc." when this is a small facet of a specific variety of extroversion known in humoral theory as the sanguine temperament. Sanguines are generally friendly, upbeat, charismatic, and generally have the image people want to see. However, not all extroversion is sanguine as Katz seems to say.

This is not to say that I dislike this piece in its entirety. Actually, I rather relish the fact that someone bothered to point out the fact the adverse effects of temperamental discrimination. However, this person claims that extroversion is sanguine, which is wrong. Extroversion is also choleric. Cholerics are the "control freaks" (totally true) of the world. The people who ascend the corporate ladder, overthrow the system, and speak out with new, innovative ideas are most likely choleric.

The term "Extroversion bias" Katz uses actually refers to "Sanguine bias". The traits listed above all correspond to the sanguine temperament when lumped together into one temperamental pattern. They do not fit the choleric temperament although the choleric (especially the choleric-sanguine) tends to be good at being a "pseudosanguine" in order to ascend to more dominant positions. Introverts can be pseudosanguine, but it is generally more difficult. Choleric extroverts are generally more interested in getting the job done than having fun, which can make the choleric appear/be unfriendly despite the fact that the choleric is indeed an extrovert.

Please do not misunderstand what extroversion is based on this piece. The temperamental discrimination Katz describes is not extroversion bias, but it is sanguine bias. The EEOS stands for "Equal Employment Opportunity Commission", but its practice of temperamental and disability discrimination makes me wonder if they are what they claim to be at all. Sanguine bias is a problematic barrier for autistic jobseekers whatever their temperament is.

Discussion Questions

• Have you ever encountered sanguine bias when being employed?
• If you are an employer, what are you going to do to prevent sanguine bias?
• Do you think sanguine bias is problematic? Why or why not?
• Do you think "sanguine bias" or "extroversion bias" better describes what kind of temperamental discrimination Katz experienced? Explain why. 

Possible Anhedonia

Anhedonia: An inability or reduced ability to feel pleasure

I've haven't bothered updating my blog lately because I have lately felt that I do not as much feel pleasure or motivation from blogging...or anything else for that matter. I don't feel like focusing in school or any other area of my life. It is taking me a great deal of energy to crank out a few sentences for something I used to be able to enjoy.

I still feel small spikes of pleasure from things I enjoy, such as playing the flute. I listened to some music that I had arranged and, instead of feeling proud, I felt nothing. I just heard some sounds. Since I love all aspects of music, not being moved by it is a foreign sensation to me. The words that I so cherish have become...just words. I also ran through my solo and ensemble piece, the vibrato just sounding jagged and harsh instead of having its usual sublime resonance.

The fact that I can actually bring myself to do things and to them reasonably well mystifies me. I guess that pseudo-motivation is a temperamental thing, but I definitely feel more apathetic than usual. I continue about my life du jour en jour and even the most wonderful things, to me, just do not feel good to me.

Why Do You Act The Way You Do? (Original Song Lyrics by Me)

Verse 1:
Perfection is a siren's cry.
I set my standards very high,
As much as it's my enemy,
I can't ignore the call.

Verse 2:
I was born to rule and reign,
But a tough face I do feign.
Although I seem to have control,
I'm just afraid to fall.

Pre-Chorus:
There's a piece I've got to find,
Both my freedom and my bind.
To know of it would clarify
So many things

Chorus:
Why do you act the way you do?
I need a piece, I need a clue.
I need to understand
This part that makes you you,
So tell me.
Why do you act the way you do?
Why do you act the way you do?

Verse 3:
I maintain a poker face,
Every time and every place.
It'd be nice if someone noticed
What lies underneath.

Verse 4:
Of course I'm so much fun,
But secret fears deeply do run.
Rejection hurts much more than
What you see.

Pre-Chorus and Chorus

Bridge:
Four basic types of people,
Neither one is good or evil.
It is just the way you are,
The way you act and live your life.
A plant that cannot live
According to its nature dies
And to a man the same applies.

Pre-Chorus and Chorus

I only have the lyrics. Feel free to sing this and create an instrumental!