Lately, all the social rules have just changed.
Fitting in or blending? It's all the same.
But I can't keep up, so this ever-changing system leaves me all alone.
It's because I'm a hated "loner boy", so
Rapid fire glances translate to "Who cares?"
This, every day, such a lonely place.
It's so unfair.
Just so no one will bother with me,
Very quietly, I opened up my text
Which raised a question I bet no one asks:
Exactly what is the reason for which
I am still alive?
It came all too soon. Before I knew, I grew
Into the kind of person with all the excuses in the world:
The "adult" I hate, just an anhedonic robot, but then I knew
That I'm a coward and, because,
Since I don't even marginally like who I am,
I will
I will
Quietly stop my breathing.
And every time I hurt another person,
The same pain I feel shortly after
And when the pain proves to be too much, then I
Can't tell anyone because I'm too scared.
And the weakness that prevents my rescue,
I don't know how to shake this feeling.
And since I cannot get rid of it, I just drag it.
And that's how it works, It's the way the world works.
Look around and get the feeling
That someone's hating me, thinking lowly of me.
I wear earbuds to try and tune it out.
They will just ignore me if I just pretend I'm unaware?
Underneath the great blue sky and all its clarity,
In a collective so diverse, surely I'm the only one truly alone.
And what they say, that we all have each other, it's all just a lie.
I draw these straight lines trying, but
No matter what
I cannot draw them neatly and this irritates me.
I'm sure
I'm sure
That I'm the one at fault.
In this class, we just learn these things
Solely for the sake of learning them.
So useless.
It came all too soon. Before I knew, I grew
Into the kind of person with all the excuses in the world:
The "adult" I hate, just an anhedonic robot, but then I knew
That I'm a coward and, because,
Then someone asked.
You are like that too?
I think we'll be allies and fight side by side.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
'Cause more
And more
And more
People worse than me than better off exist.
Below is the original. I do not own Kagamine Len or Neru.
Song: Classroom Bystander
Artist: Kagamine Len
Language: Japanese
"Who cares" about the "loner boy"?
ReplyDelete"Classroom Bystander" provides the answer.
I can feel the gestures; the glances...
And I liked "People worse than me than better off exist". Is this direct from the Japanese, in attitude and in style?
[That whole "There's always someone worse off than you" doesn't really cover that"].
The things we feel; we hear; we see in classrooms!
"Just so no one will bother with me,
Very quietly, I opened up my text
Which raised a question I bet no one asks:
Exactly what is the reason for which
I am still alive?"
I love the "It came all too soon" chorus so I'm focusing on what's in between and how it's shaped and how it's understood:
"And every time I hurt another person,
The same pain I feel shortly after
And when the pain proves to be too much, then I
Can't tell anyone because I'm too scared.
And the weakness that prevents my rescue,
I don't know how to shake this feeling.
And since I cannot get rid of it, I just drag it.
And that's how it works, It's the way the world works.
Look around and get the feeling
That someone's hating me, thinking lowly of me.
I wear earbuds to try and tune it out.
They will just ignore me if I just pretend I'm unaware?
Underneath the great blue sky and all its clarity,
In a collective so diverse, surely I'm the only one truly alone.
And what they say, that we all have each other, it's all just a lie.
I draw these straight lines trying, but
No matter what
I cannot draw them neatly and this irritates me.
I'm sure
I'm sure
That I'm the one at fault.
In this class, we just learn these things
Solely for the sake of learning them.
So useless."
I love the "blue sky and its clarity" lyric.
And the "weakness that prevents my rescue" - happens too often to socially isolated or rejected people in a classroom. It is a thing we do not see. No wonder such people feel they look out and for themselves.
So this song is very much about a planned ignoring turned back on the environment.
The "In this class" - metaphorical or literal? "Learning how to learn"!
Who is asking/texting? Is it a text you send to yourself to affirm yourself, to keep asking?
"In a collective so diverse, surely I'm the only one truly alone."
'I'm the only one truly alone' - such an existential thought.
Are we so diverse in a collective?
The first verse is very important.