Blogger Widgets Ender-Chan's Thoughts: Milestone Envy

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Milestone Envy

I know you may have envied me
Just through what I've posted on this screen.
There's something I want you to know
About my many milestones.

I fall and hurt and sometimes cry
At things you might be asking "Why?".
Not all battles can be seen;
Some we fight internally.

The steps and take I words I say
Sometimes leave me lost, astray.
Some things I said I now regret,
Even thoughts I've not thought yet.

Those who are bright shine with appeal
To people who don't know how it feels
To perpetually burn inside
Despite every onlooker's pride.

You say that I do many things
And feel pain at wounds they bring,
But achievement only goes so far.
They never come without their scars.

I regret all the times I have
Been afraid and turned my back
On many opportunities
That benefits I'd surely reap.

Sometimes, I wish I'd have done more
Because life seems to have a score.
I don't know how how to win this game:
By money? Power? Status? Fame?

I guess it's all the same to you,
But milestones won't cure the blues.
Envy poisons, robs, deprives,
Souls of happy, healthy, lives.

So when you see a trophy's gleam,
Be careful, stop, and really think.
Awards are rarely what they seem
And even more rarely what they mean.


  1. One thing, FlutistPride:

    "The steps I take [and?] [the?] words I say"
    or "Steps I take; words I say".

    Milestones is a terrific and brave poem for that reason.

    Who feels the pain at the wounds they bring? You? I? the reader?

    Envy is a big thing! It can be a motivator. It can sometimes bring people together that you never thought would be together.

    Jealousy seems to have more of the corrosive, the personal.

    And I like - really like - the last verse.

    That comma didn't need to be there in between healthy and lives.

    What is the rhyme scheme? Where does everything fall?

    Achievement does go far. "It ONLY goes SO far". And ACHIEVEMENT goes FAR.

    Seems like milestones and blues are independent of each other when they're part of the person; the emotional process.

    Awards are about the giver and the system, all too often!

    When an award is about what it means and what it seems, it is a worthy award.

    Money; power; status; fame - all and [or] none have their meaning inside and outside the game. At least you can think it is a game.

    That first line or two was a wake-up call especially for those who have read "Take It".

    This is my favourite verse:
    "Those who are bright shine with appeal
    To people who don't know how it feels
    To perpetually burn inside
    Despite every onlooker's pride."

    Pride can obscure how things feel, especially the burning. And for those of us who are "Shiny things!" The burning and the pride...

    And again: envy is bad. At least for Christians. You have it as a cardinal sin. Along with greed and avarice. But then it is not personal.

    Do you ever come to fear opportunity itself? Fear the turning back? The benefits? The "sure reap"? The regret? This is the verse that makes me ask questions the most.

    Life has a score OF WHAT?

  2. Anna....
    I am going to assume that you wrote this poem, that these are your words, your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings. And they're very real, Friend.... Which I appreciate!! Poetry has the tendency to give Readers a glimpse into his/her heart and soul, doesn't it? ;)
    You expressed that when people {guilty as charged} mention everything that you have achieved, everything that you have accomplished, every one of your milestones, your legacy, it only makes things feel worse. So.... I will try a different approach in sending some encouragement/virtual hugs!! I am going to be open, honest, and bear my soul to you.... ;)
    The people that are interesting are the people that have something eating at them and they're not exactly sure what that thing is. --Bruce Springsteen, 2005
    "Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive", Raelyn
    PS. I have A LOT to write, so I'm going to break this comment up in three {hopefully short!!} comments!! ;-D
    To be continued.... ;)

  3. Anna....
    I, too, fall, hurt and sometimes cry at things people might ask "why" about. It is absolutely true that not all battles can be seen!! Because.... Many battles of my own I, too, fight internally. Alone. All by myself. Because I can be a loner. I can be a loner, sort of like Tony Stark/Iron Man. Which is not, necessarily, a positive thing.... :-(
    You second guess every word that comes out of your mouth, every action that you take. So do I!! Honestly? I think that everybody does at some point or another throughout their Lives. Am I right? There is a resin block sign I have seen at local Hallmark stores. It says--in capital letters--"Did I just say that out loud?" Love it!! Because I can wholeheartedly relate to that phrase!! ;-D
    Every good writer or filmmaker has something eating at them, right? That they can't quite get off their back. --Bruce Springsteen
    To be continued.... ;)
    "Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive", Raelyn

  4. Anna....
    I have been called "an old soul" by my dear, dear, dear friend. You know what? You, too, are "an old soul"!! I do mean that.... In the best way possible, Friend!! Because this poem, these words, your thoughts.... Very good, very, very, very good.... ;)
    "Envy poisons, robs, deprives; Souls of happy, healthy, lives." Ah, those are words to live by, wise words of wisdom that speak to me, to my heart and soul!! Why? Because I struggle mightily with envy, comparison to others and jealousy issues. Not toward you, but toward other people. It is a "heart of stone" issue, I think. Which I work on!! ;-}
    Once again, I don't know what it is like to take a walk in your shoes. I am not bright.... I struggle with premature short-term memory loss, I have learning disabilities. I possess a shattered, broken, unobtainable, Lifelong dream of being an author. For now, at least!! I lack ambition. I can feel like a cosmic failure sometimes because of this.... But I'm not. And neither are you!! ;-D
    I had to get used to being good company for myself for a long time, which is good because every artist begins as an angry, isolated outsider in one way or another. I don't know anybody who's started some other way that I can think of. --Bruce Springsteen, January 15th, 2014
    The End.... ;)
    "Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive", Raelyn


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