Blogger Widgets Ender-Chan's Thoughts: On Learned Behaviors and Passing for Normal

Monday, February 15, 2016

On Learned Behaviors and Passing for Normal

Yes, I am training myself out of one of my autistic traits.
No, I am not trying to "pass for normal".

I am teaching myself how to sing. My main issue is the strength and timbre of my pitches because my speaking voice is naturally very soft and flat. By teaching myself to speak more loudly and melodically, I will strengthen my vocal cords and prime them for singing. As seen in my cover of "Want You Gone", I made the mistake of singing from my throat rather than from my diaphragm. My pitches were insipid at best and sometimes didn't sound like singing at all, more like talking.

I am the type of person that would go about most means (as in: no illegal activity or hurting others) to achieve my desired end. For example, I cannot flutter tongue using either the rolling Rs method or the gargling method. This inability has no impedance to my musical growth at the high school level. However, at the professional or (maybe) college level, it would pose a great hindrance to my musical growth if I were unable to flutter tongue. At least, I would find another way to flutter tongue and at most, I would get plastic surgery that would physiologically enable me to do these things.

I don't believe in changing one's self to pass for normal. However, I do believe in the setting and pursuit of personal goals. Certain goals require certain amendments to yourself and I am totally fine with changing my prosody in order to be able to sing more strongly. Instead of suppressing myself, I'm enhancing myself. I am acquiring a new skill. Instead of just being, I am doing. I am actively making an effort to hone a talent that I wish to develop.


  1. FlutistPride:

    Great to read about your musical life and the amendments you are making.

    Was the style on WANT YOU GONE more like Sprechenstimme? [spoken song/word in German].

    Prosody can be a hard change to make, especially in the absence of practice and experiment. And prosody does hurt/harm others. As well as self and one's own voice.

    Fluttering tongue - I didn't know a lot about it. Except in questionnaires when people ask about tongue. My tongue is fairly big and thick.

    As for the gargling method - what a bane!

    Was wondering if your mouth/tongue/throat were highly sensitive?

    I loved the cover - it was full of emotion!

    1. Thank you. I think it is a physiological problem that I am unable to flutter tongue. It poses no impedance now, but it will later.

    2. +FlutistPride

      When we flutter:

      identify the conditions.

      Does it need to be tight or loose?

      [and other questions like this].

    3. Flutter tonguing is a generally loose movement as far as I know. It can, however, be tightened to achieve certain affects. There are (usually) musical markings that indicate when a flutist needs to flutter tongue written in the music.


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