Blogger Widgets Ender-Chan's Thoughts: Random, Incoherent Hodgepodge

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Random, Incoherent Hodgepodge

Health Warning: The video contains a host of seizure triggers.

Trigger Warning: Rolling Girl contains suicide themes. 

Depression killed my concentration.

This song accurately describes my experiences with anxiety-induced depression. One more time, I roll for another day down the same slope knowing that it hurts me, but it's the only way I can block out the pain that lingers in the corners of my mind. I keep uttering platitudes in response to how I feel. "I'm just fine" with a smile on my face is my primary defense. In theory, I will "baseline" and not be able to feel it anymore. I'm getting help, but, today, I'll keep rolling for another day.
Song Rolling Girl
Artist: Hatsune Miku
Language: Japanese 

Extroverted thinking (Te) seems to be an unwelcome function in the online disability community. Saying things like "See past labels" and "I am more than a spreadsheet" makes Te doms (EN/STJs) in the online disability community feel alienated and out of place. Label and data aversion takes away the Te dom's primary way of understanding the world, which is an example of temperamental discrimination. 

  • I feel like nothing matters anymore, not even school. I don't even feel like arranging music or playing my flute.
  • I'm vacillating between ENTP and ENTJ again.
  • I felt like using Verdana and random colors here.
  • The above text is not made to be readable.
  • I'm still in Verdana.
  • How did I get to this thought?
  • Really?
  • I get *very* annoyed when people misuse the term "neurodiversity". 
  • As for vocal range, I think I'm an alto.
  • I can sing, just not well. 
  • Now, I'm typing in bright pink.
  • The end.    

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